Experiment Log 02: Film Theory [Open]

[mementomoritz]

[Anyone passing by the theater in Limbo today, whether out of chance or curiosity, will find that it's running another one of its' "special presentations". In between the usual mix of random gibberish and actual films are two short clips, both featuring the same young girl.]

[Neither of them is a particularly long memory, but it's enough to see that the child in question is unmistakably a much younger Medic.]

[The first is a cheerful little memory, in it's own... unique way. At least the cat seems fine.]

[It's the second one where things get a little uncomfortable.]

[The source of the memories in question, once someone has eventually clued her in that she's getting another fifteen minutes of fame, can be found sitting in one of the theater seats and absently eating popcorn while staring at the screen, lost in thought.]

I didn't remember until I saw... Was the video the cause, or did it appear here because I was going to remember soon? [Thankfully, she doesn't seem too bothered by her personal business being shown publicly, but she does seem pretty wrapped up in contemplating it.]

[Alternately, if you show up later, you may hear a lot of thuds and clatters coming from the back.]

[Apparently, she's trying to get answers from the source by locating and breaking into the projector room. Her success is... mixed at best.]

[On the bright side, she left her giant bag of popcorn unattended. Free movie snacks?]

Comments

memory 2

[emberserker]

[Wolfsbane, hanging around the back of the theatre, scowls at the screen.]

She hated it, didn't she?

[mementomoritz]

[Medic blinks and looks over at her, confused.]

Which part? I think she liked the fencing practice at first, but she did seem kind of angry there at the end.

I wonder why I never noticed that before...

[emberserker]

You assumed she had good intentions. And perhaps she cared, but she still wanted more. Or rather... to be special. Wouldn't anyone?

[Something feels hollow in Wolfsbane again, something she'd rather not think about.]

[mementomoritz]

[Plainly and genuinely, with no hint of dishonesty:] I always thought she was.

I don't remember much about her, but I know that she was smart, and strong, and never gave up on anything she wanted. [That last one may have, in fact, been the problem.] She was my er-jie, of course she was special. How could I think anything else?

[emberserker]

[Wolfsbane doesn't know much about herself, but she knows, with what she's got, that what Medic's saying is so familiar it's sickening.]

Some people are just meant for certain things, aren't they? No matter how hard they try. Right?

[mementomoritz]

People aren't meant for anything. [Just stated in a very matter-of-fact kind of way.] We're not designed for anything in particular, we're just a randomly-assembled collection of traits- it's not like anyone gets to decide what we end up with.

Although I was working on changing around some of the things I got, afterwards. But then the FDA got really mad at me about it. [...it's probably best not to examine that part any further.]

[emberserker]

...Incomprehensible as ever. But I suppose you wouldn't be yourself otherwise.

[mementomoritz]

I guess not! [She smiles cheerily, but after a moment it looks more... wistful, as she turns to look back at the screen.]

I think a lot of the time, people don't make any more sense to me than I do to them. I understand that something made her mad, and I'm pretty sure that something was me, but I don't know what or why.

I think there's a lot I never understood about her.

[emberserker]

There was something special about you, that I can see. And I suppose you must have been treated specially, even if you felt you were equal.

[mementomoritz]

Hmm... That seems plausible, but I don't really know enough about myself to be sure. I think right now I remember more about my sisters than I do about me.

So you think she was... angry about being treated differently? [She doesn't know. But she's trying to understand.]

[emberserker]

I would be. I think anyone would, if there were someone special everybody else adored. You remember Esme parading around like she was the only one who mattered.

[mementomoritz]

[Medic frowns thoughtfully, mulling that over.] Esme mostly just confused me... I didn't like what she used her status to do, but it didn't bother me that she had it.

Is there a difference between someone being important and someone being the most important? How do you tell?

[emberserker]

How strong they are, how much they're fawned over, how they get everything they want and others just don't.

[schardynfreude]

[He doesn't find much reason to come here, other than, well, occasionally there is a movie which is a way to relax, and it's also just otherwise a quiet and dim place to chill out.

This is...more than he's used to. Perhaps, on rare occasion, the flash of something going by--but this is like a movie unto itself.

The anger, the rage and the envy and the greed of the sibling, sits unwell with Chiron (and it is Chiron, right now in this moment at least, having fought down his own memories for a time with Medic's help). It's uncomfortable and confounding enough he stands there in the aisle, hand to his mouth as though he might be sick, but it never gets to that point.]

You truly don't feel pain, do you?

[mementomoritz]

Hm? Oh, no, I do- just not usually for very long. [Medic answers casually, seemingly unaware of how disturbed Chiron really is.] I tested it once, and I don't experience any less actual sensation than the average.

I think maybe it's more that pain just... isn't that scary, when you can heal yourself any time. As soon as I want to not hurt, I don't.

[Having that power from such a young age explains... a lot about how she is, really. Pain as an aversion, something to flinch back from instinctively, is a basic building block for most living things, how they react and develop. What happens when someone's never had to feel pain they didn't decide to?]

[mementomoritz]

Hmm... [She tallies it up, working it out on her fingers.] Well, I definitely wasn't stronger than her- she won all those fights, after all! That leaves the other two... but I do know I definitely didn't get everything I wanted.

After all, I wanted her to be happy.

[schardynfreude]

You still turn it off, in a fashion. [Can one still be unafraid of pain if their power lets them stop the pain the instant it's possible to feel it?]

Goodness, she hated you quite a bit...

[mementomoritz]

I wonder what I did to make her so angry? I wish I could remember... [The possibility that is wasn't her fault somehow just doesn't seem to occur to her.]

[emberserker]

[Why doesn't she make sense? Why does it hurt?]

...perhaps you did. I don't think I'll ever understand people like you.

[mementomoritz]

Would it help if I offered to answer questions? You've been answering mine and trying to help me understand, so it feels like it's only fair if I try to answer anything you want to ask.

[She doesn't understand people, but she understands wanting to.]

[emberserker]

Oh, I doubt it. I've got my own problems.

[mementomoritz]

I'm starting to wonder if anyone here is okay. ...I mean, we're dead, but that seems to be one of the smaller issues for a lot of people! This is a statistically significant amount of trauma.

[She's not here to judge, but also she is your major source of medical care and you all raise a lot of concerns with your everything.]

[emberserker]

I'm not traumatized! And if I were, I wouldn't know! I've barely gotten a few memories back as it is.

[mementomoritz]

I hope you aren't, but at this point even if we discount you the numbers don't look good.

...I wonder how much trauma even would affect someone if they couldn't remember it. We seem to retain a lot of our basic personalities, but how much do the parts that were shaped by experience still stay that way?

[emberserker]

I don't know. Wouldn't anything have been shaped by your past? Even if you don't know why you act that way.