cancry | new year, new you

new year, new you

It's been some time since the Executors made their way down to the Gula layer and while things have been quiet, that doesn't necessarily mean they haven't been busy. The snow that had been falling steadily for the past week or so has finally eased, even if a thick blanket of the stuff seems to remain in all the Layers you've travelled to. The ever present threat of an Authority has been mitigated somewhat by Gerda being... well, Gerda and though her intentions and the full scope of her motivations are still a mystery, she at least seems to be willing to assist the Executors so long as they do the same for her in turn.

All the errands they've been running have done a lot to help the Undercity – the kitchen is stocked, and the communal areas feel fuller and livelier. Music often rings out from the stage and all in all, things seem fuller and warmer here.

And yet, that quiet hunger continues to nip at you every moment you spend in Gula. Even if it weren't for the Gluttony Layer's effects, though, there would be answers aplenty to be hungering after – the mysterious butterfly accompanying Ariel, the question of Rei's lack of memories... and of course, the mystery girl who seems determined to see you all returned to mindless Specters once again.

Do you still believe you have what it takes to travel to the bottom of Purgatory and restore things to their natural order?

There's only one way to find out for sure.

[ ... And we're back! After our holiday break, the Gula chapter of Can Cry's metaplot is now continuing! Happy New Year, Executors - let's see what you make of it! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ You'd think this would be deeply ominous, but coming from the unthreatening trio of Medic, Veil and Mona (Sword is also there), Gerda doesn't seem too ruffled. ]

Oyo? Did you guys come up with some fancy Executor doodads to fix things?

[ ah, at least she isn't starting out on the defensive... Mona shakes her head. ]

We had a meeting and thought about how we could help... but the state that Gula is in is probably because of the Cogs, so the only way to fix it would be to reach them. Nothing we do would change this place right now.

And I... think it's unfair to tell you to just wait for us, when everyone here is suffering. But we can't run errands forever, either. So, what you need is a way to keep supplying food from previous Layers while we go down to the Cogs, right...?

[ she takes a steadying breath and squeezes Veil's hand before she asks: ]

What if... you became an Executor, Gerda?

We know that Executors who become Authorities can still travel between layers! [Case in point, herself and Veil right here.] So theoretically, an Authority who becomes an Executor might be able to do the same!

We can't be certain it's going to work, but it's worth testing, right?

[ Gerda looks very startled. It's pretty clear that was about the last thing she was expecting to hear from them. ]

You... can just do that? You can turn just anybody into an Executor? It can't be that easy, right?

Dame Rei was able to do so for all of us.

[ Mona nods. ] It's not like there's anything different about us. Rei made us Executors. It's not because we're special or anything like that, it's just because she offered.

To be honest, we don't know yet if it will work. The other Authorities we've met were against the idea of fixing the Cogs, so... Rei has never tried it before. But, if it does work, we hoped... that this would be exactly what you need. You could continue looking after Gula... and let us pass into the next Layer.

Rei can! The rest of us can't- I've been trying to figure out why, but I haven't found many promising leads so far...

And I could just... go anyplace I want? I wouldn't have to worry about getting all fuzzy or feeling hungry again?

[ She's considering it at least... ]

If it works.

[Three little words, so small and yet so significant.]

[If it works.]

[What would you be willing to risk on an "if"?]

We're optimistic, of course.

[Well. Some of them are, anyway.]

And... what'd happen if it doesn't work? I wouldn't turn into something else, right?

We have no idea! [Well that's reassuring...]

I'd assumed simply that nothing would happen, but now that you mention the possibility...

[w o r r y]

[Y'all.]

There's no reason to believe at all will happen, least of all something like that. This is just a shot in the dark.

[ Y'ALL ARE SO BAD AT THIS ]

W-we've never had anything bad happen with it before! A lot of our group have gained Authority from previous Layers, so we know for certain that you can be both at once, and that change has never affected anyone badly...

I know it's a risk. But it's also our best option.

... At least you guys are honest about it, I guess...

[ She looks... weirdly reassured, if only by their sincerity. ]

You promise this isn't some kind of sneaky plan, right? You promise?

I promise. I'd never try to trick you.

[As ahe demonstrated on day one. .]

I'm not very good at sneaky. All my plans are purely scientific!

If we wanted to be sneaky, we wouldn't have brought Veil or Medic.

[Or himself, but he's not saying that.]

[ Hidden just out of sight, Prehnite feels kind of bad now. Should he come out?

....Well, his presence isn't due to them trying to trick her. He'll stay put for the present. ]

Hmm, I guess not... those two are my favourite Executors, so I'm pretty sure they'd never try to trick me!

[ Maybe that's a little backwards... ]

But... if you guys really are sure about all this... I wanna try! I'll become an Executor!

[Felix nods and looks for Rei.]

This is Rei. She can do it.

[ At Sword's prompting, Rei nods her head and steps forward. She looks nervous, but determined. This is what they've settled on, so she'll do it. ]

Yes. Gerda... all you have to do is make a contract with me.

[ Rei extends her hand to Gerda, just as she's done to all the others, as her Executor mark glows pale gold. Gerda takes hold of her hand in turn with a smile.

You feel something stutter, like gears failing to turn. A rusted mechanism bursts back into motion after years of being chained into stillness.

And then everything goes – ]

The first thing you remember is the hunger.

It had once come in faint waves, lapping at you gently but insistently. Winding around your feet like a cat clamoring for attention. Like that, it was nothing more than an novelty, a curiosity you could indulge without worry. You would fill your belly to bursting and, satisfied, the hunger would recede, leaving you clearheaded and calm. Even when the hunger begins to nag at you with more and more frequency, you're not worried. Food is plentiful. So long as you can fill your belly, everything will be fine.

Until it's not.

One day, the hunger simply... stays. You eat yourself sick, until your stomach aches in protest, but no matter what you do, it doesn't vanish. It merely lingers there, growing more insistent by the moment. You wade through the days, trying to ignore the rumbling in your stomach. You find yourself waking up each morning and thinking of food before you can remember your name and who you are. You spend hours in the kitchen, concocting things that are and aren't food and eventually, you stop bothering to cook it before you shove it into your mouth. You start to lose track of time. One day blends seamlessly into another. A week turns into two, then three. It's like water through your fingers but you don't care enough to try and stop its flow.

You're not even sure where you are anymore. You're not even entirely sure how you got here. The only things you know for certain are the hunger gnawing at your insides, the burning in your throat, and the pain in your chest as it stretches wider and wider. It's like someone has replaced the air inside your lungs with fire. It's like walking underwater, or breathing through a straw, but you don't stop because stopping is unthinkable. You need to keep moving, to keep going, to keep eating.

And then one day, something changes. Something deep inside of you shifts, the way a river bends when the wind blows in a new direction. You follow along with it mindlessly, content to float along so long as the direction you go guides you to your next meal. It doesn't concern you when your teeth turn brittle and sharp or your nails turn black and elongated. Your bones crack and reshape themselves as if to give you more room to fill. You forget how to speak, much less walk, and yet, somehow you manage to stumble forward anyway.

Later - endless years later - you will learn the word Revenant.

For now, all you understand is that you're starving.

Eat. Anything to fill your belly, to fill the hole inside you. Eat. It doesn't matter if it's raw, if it's still wriggling, if it's screaming and fighting back. Eat. Eat. Eat.

You find yourself to a place full of swallowing, sweating heat. The food here is plentiful, even if you're certain none of it is really meant to be food. There are things like you down here, maws filled to bursting and claws sharp enough to rip out your throat. But it doesn't matter; you'll tear them apart if you have to. Sometimes you do - and in those rare moments, you almost remember what it's like to be something other than starving. Sometimes, when your mind is calm like that, it makes you feel like you should be able to recall something important.

It's one of these days when your mind is calm that the wind changes again. It's like the surface of the water has been disturbed, casting new and strange lights onto your face. The air seems to vibrate and hum with energy and like a moth drawn to a flame, you can't resist the urge to draw closer to it. You fight your way through the other things like you, all of them equally desperate, all of them hungry and fighting to get there first. Somehow, you win. You stumble through the thicket, tripping on overgrowth until-

Until you see her, for the first time. All this time later, you don't remember anything except her kind blue eyes and the way some part of you had cringed and recoiled at her presence.

All too soon after this, you will learn to call the power she has Authority.

Hearing you approach, she turns to you. You have enough awareness of your form now to know you must be a disgusting sight - somehow both gaunt and bloated, claws and teeth sharp enough to rend flesh and hideously misshapen. But the look she gives you is not one of fear, but deep pity.

"You poor thing." she says to you. "You must be so hungry."

You don't remember the last time anyone spoke a single word to you. Your own voice is a splintered thing, stuttering and stumbling out of you as you try to respond but -- but you do have a voice. Somehow, in all this time, you'd forgotten that you did.

"H-Hung...ry..."

Your throat overflows with saliva. She's just standing there. Her eyes are so, so kind and she's saying something to you, but it's just noise in your brain and you're so, so hungry.

You open your mouth and lunge.

Edited 2022-02-09 17:42 (UTC)

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1/???

cw: binge eating, memory loss, body horror, cannibalism

continued CWs as above