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cancry2022-04-17 01:41 pm
cancrymods) wrote in cancry2022-04-17 01:41 pm
Luxuria Intro Log
With the real super power of teamwork, the Executors have successfully managed to make their way through the Gula Underside and defeat the previous Authority there. With Gerda now freed from her past regrets and given the power of an Executor, Gula and its inhabitants seem to be in safe hands... for now at least. More interesting – or concerning, perhaps – is the tentative ally you've gained in the form of Birdie, the mysterious girl who attacked some of your number in the Superbia Underside. While she seemed to be nothing but an enemy back then, a surprising connection has been formed with who you now understand to be the Authority of Purgatory itself. While she doesn't necessarily believe the Executors will be able to repair Purgatory, she is at least willing to admit that she shares their goals of wanting to see Purgatory restored... either to its former state, or to something new. But what does that mean for the Executors? And what does that mean for Rei supposedly born from the Authority's discarded heart? There are still many questions the Executors need to answer and as a blast of dry, hot air blows up from the next layer, you can only hope that Luxuria holds the key to at least some of them... | |
 ♪♫ Wet & Dry – Sakuzyo After the humidity and noise of the Gula Underside, passing down to the Lust Layer of Purgatory initially seems like a relief. The air here is dry and sharp and though you hear noise drifting up to meet you and see a whole rainbow of lights clustered together in the dark, it doesn't seem as though it'll be quite as overwhelming as some of the bustling Layers you've had the pleasure of exploring before. But as you set foot down into Luxuria and feel the heat of the ground under your feet, you begin to wonder if you might just have hopped out of the frying pan and into the fire... | |
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[ she follows his retreating hand, clutching for it with both of her own. she's hurt him. even if she doesn't know which part of her reaction he found painful — her pulling away from him? comparing him with her father? — it doesn't matter. she has to fix it. he needs to know that whatever he's afraid of isn't true. ]
I'm so sorry, I just— I remembered something so suddenly, and I was surprised... I-it wasn't anything bad, and you didn't do anything wrong!
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Whatever I reminded you of must have been quite startling. I don't want to hurt you.
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It was only that I didn't have any memories of my father before now. I was half-asleep... and he was stroking my hair. That's why...
[ ... why she remembered in that moment. that's all it was, she's trying to convey to him.
she can't tell him the truth. not yet, at least. Mona doesn't entirely understand the words she remembered; her father loved her, she's certain of it. just the memory of him makes her feel safe and calm. so what does it mean, that he said those things to her, and that the person she was in that memory didn't find it alarming or strange at all? —but if Chiron thinks that he caused her to remember something bad, that it was because of some association with him... it will only hurt him. until she's made him see that the recollection of her father is completely separate from him, she can't cast that memory into doubt.
and... there's another thing that lingers in the back of her mind, tugging at her anxieties. he won't speak to Rei. ever since the Underside, where they found out that she isn't who they thought, that she is something else entirely. he doesn't seem to have a problem with Birdie. it's Rei who has somehow changed in his regard. so — how can Mona be so sure that it won't change the way he looks at her, if she tells him what her father said to her...? ]
... It surprised me because I didn't realise I had ever known him. But that memory... was very warm.
[ she isn't lying. not really. ]
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[He should be happy for her. Right? That she does in fact remember something of her father after all, and that it was something so comfortable and warm. It was surprising, not harmful.
Can he be sure it isn't just another lie?
(Mona is not Aera, nor is she Somnus. She is not in the habit of lying to him. That he's aware of. Don't let the grief of remembered past cloud present judgement. These are friends, family. No need for paranoia.)
He relaxes incrementally, the line of his shoulders easing down.]
Still, it was not my intention to spark something so...sudden.
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[ and it is. whatever she heard in that memory, it wasn't Chiron's fault and it doesn't need to hurt him. she'll keep it to herself. (who is she kidding, she thinks, pretending that it's to protect someone else from being hurt; that it isn't just the fear curdling in her gut, the strange unsettled feeling like something worse is to come. a future nightmare of Chiron looking at her differently, once he knows. You must never know love.) it's possible that... it will never even matter. she can hope.
Mona steps closer, tucks herself into Chiron's side and leans her head against his shoulder. ]
Father did say something I don't really understand, though... He told me that I would — [ her face scrunches up as she tries to recall the exact words: ] "lead the people from God's cradle to the expansive world of knowledge."
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He had high hopes and expectations of you. Some kind of intellectual revolution, perhaps, or even the next step in human evolution itself.
[Which is funny. Not because it's Mona, but because he wonders if that's what the people thought he was to be.]
Seems a little much to put on your shoulders, dear.
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I wonder if I was supposed to follow in his footsteps. Become a brilliant scientist...
[ she wonders if he ever held her like this even once. and even though they surely must have spoken to each other at some point, it's not something she can recall. as things are, she's not sure that she ever knew him.
Chiron's embrace makes a warmer, happier feeling rise in her chest. it isn't the almost sedative effect of Father's deep voice. she's safe and comfortable just the same, of course, but it's a feeling with more fullness than that. like pieces were missing from that memory. something is itching in the back of her mind that she can't quite reach. ]
I wish I remembered. Even though it's been so long and I've gotten so many memories back, I feel like... I barely know anything about me.
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Sometimes the memories we get only bring us more questions. And sometimes the answers to those questions are...horrible. I don't know that I could truly say I'd want to go back to not knowing, but in so many ways, it would be easier.
[Birdie offered him a taste and offered once more to finish the job. He can't take it. But the temptation is there.]
How much do you think it matters, who we were before?
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[ she doesn't finish the thought: barely even a person. she's said as much to Chiron before — how strange and unsettling it is to think of how she began in Limbo, compared to the rest of them. that either she woke up wrong, or she's just missing something fundamental that the rest of them had, to have all kept their personalities without any memory. and now she thinks of Father stroking her hair, speaking to her about such frightening things, while she sat there, unmoving, half-asleep, and those words stirred no feeling at all in her. like a doll.
she's beginning to worry that something... might be very wrong with her. but, even so— ]
And it's also that... there were people who cared about me, when I was alive. The life I lived mattered very much to me back then. So, even though I won't remember anything when we pass through the Cogs... I'd like to be that person, before I disappear. I want her memory — my memory — to reach the end.
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Does it frighten you? The idea of unbecoming. To be born into someone new with none of this self of yours left.
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It's not just me. It's all of this.
[ gently, she extricates herself from Chiron's arm around her and backs a step away from him so that she can look him in the eye. her posture withdraws into herself, hands clasped at her chest and shoulders hiked up. it doesn't take long for her gaze to drop off to the side, self-conscious of the things she's saying. ]
The person that I was... Somebody remembers her. I don't know how she — how I — died, but... she lived. [ she didn't vanish from the world. she exists in Lupin's memory. and as terrible as it is to think that Lupin and the others may not have outlived her, even if they didn't, she would be remembered. by people she passed in the street, by the things she left behind in Saint-Germain's mansion, by Father's legacy. ] But the person that I am now — once we're gone, it will be as if Mona Lisa never existed. The experiences I've had, the ways in which I changed, the things I'm feeling right now... That will all disappear forever.
When we were alive, we left an impression on the world, even in small ways. Here, nobody will ever know that I loved you. It won't just be me that forgets. All of it will just be... gone.
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There will be no Mona, no Chiron, no Phoenix, no Achilles. And if everyone dies and comes through here, even the memory will eventually leave, of who they were before.]
I have heard, before, a saying. That so long as there is memory of someone, they are never truly dead.
And we will be truly dead. These beings that exist here and now.
[Nobody will ever know that I loved you. How cruel is that? It is cruel that all would forget Birdie and Rei while they are trapped here. He curls a hand over his heart, would that it were still technically beating.]
We may have to make some difficult decisions as we make our descent. There are...options, in case the Cogs cannot or will not be mended.
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Options...
[ she hadn't ever thought of any alternatives. regardless of the reason for it, even trying to consider something that didn't involve passing through the Cogs had made her feel as if she would be doing something terrible. because — because she remembers Esme. Esme, who was branded as the enemy so quickly, before they knew anything about her, before she ever poisoned their food. simply for not wanting to disappear. because it was a selfish and bad and evil thing to want.
Chiron is speaking of necessity, possibilities if the Cogs cannot be mended, but. Mona hadn't thought of any other scenario. ]
Like what happened to you? [ she sounds unsure. ] Having your memories taken away.
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[He had mentioned it to Wolfsbane, of all people, but Mona deserves to know. Chiron shakes his head.]
No--well, that is, technically, an option, but I speak of...Authority. A little birdie has joined us, in a fashion, on our trek, as you may have noticed. She is the Authority of all of Purgatory, but she does not have the same kind of control, perhaps for it being so large of an area. She cannot enact change. But we have posited that perhaps if the power is spread among several people...
[He spreads, too, his hands.] There may be options to change how Purgatory even works. Fix the Cogs, or simply make the Cogs cease to exist. To alter the very nature of this place.
...I hesitate to bring the idea up to some of the others. They would have every right to be suspect of her. And I imagine that the majority opinion is still to fix the Cogs, or to make an attempt. If we do...I wonder if we can choose differently. To choose not to go.
And while the Cogs are broken, we still feel it, do we not? That inherent wrongness.