[discord @everyone notification noise]

[phantasmagorial]

A few days after, uh... you know, all that shit goes down, the Executors will wake up one morning to find a fancy looking smartphone has been just... deposited next to wherever their heads happened to be as they slept. Thankfully for the chunky boys among us (lookin at you, Lion) they appear to be completely indestructible and have the unnerving ability to just sort of reappear in your hand whenever you realize you've misplaced it.

Fiddling with the phone will eventually lead you to a message from Rei, apparently sent before the phones were dished out.

Hi everyone. I thought it might be a good idea for us to have a way of keeping in touch in case of emergencies so I traded some books and food from Limbo to get these phones. We can send messages, make calls and just keep in touch with each other across Purgatory a lot more easily this way. I hope so, anyway.

The clerk said they could deliver them all for me when they were ready and I'm not really sure how that works so I hope they get to everyone in time.

With that – congratulations! You now have access to network features. Executors can use their phone to make text, video and audio posts as well as calling and texting each other privately. They can send photos, videos and audio recordings and, yes, there is a messaging app (Discordia, so it's called) full of emojis that already has a group chat set up. Enjoy, shitposters.

Comments

@blauendonau

[seasharp]

phonenewbiesayswhat

Re: @blauendonau

[daughterofthemark]

whats a phonenewbie

1/

[seasharp]

ah, well

it's

2/

[seasharp]

[................]

3/3

[seasharp]

it's like a type of updog

you know?

[daughterofthemark]

ah i see

it sounds much like a henway

[seasharp]

[???]

a what

[daughterofthemark]

a henway

are you not familiar with them

[seasharp]

[annihilation incoming in 3... 2...]

no. whats a henway

[1...]

[daughterofthemark]

it depends on the hen but usually not more than a few pounds

1/

[seasharp]

[oh so this is what dying felt like]

. . .

2/2

[seasharp]

i think i have to log off forever now

[daughterofthemark]

no
come back
wait

[seasharp]

it's too late

you've killed me

i'm double dead now

[daughterofthemark]

oh no

i apologize

are you a ghost

[seasharp]

yes

i'm haunting your phone 👻

[daughterofthemark]

id not realized such a thing was possible gracious

[seasharp]

just make sure you don't lose your phone

or i'll be homeless

[daughterofthemark]

[There's a pause.]

what is a phone anyway

[seasharp]

it's the thing in your hand right now

[daughterofthemark]

how did you know i had this in my hand