[Open] Dr. Medic's Sleepaway Funtimes Camp

[mementomoritz]

I. So girl keep telling me [network post]

[About three hours after the whole post-Esmeeting kerfuffle, every phone included in the Executor group chat suddenly blares loudly with an incoming post that appears to have every possible alert and priority notice the person writing it could find attached to it.]

ANYONE WHO ATE ANYTHING AT ESME'S HOUSE REPORT TO MEDIC IMMEDIATELY YOU ARE POISONED


[Well, you can't accuse her of burying the lede.]

i'm in my lab in invidia [The exact address and coordinates of the lab are attached along with the message, including a helpful photo of a scribbled map just in case anyone is really bad with directions.] if you ate ANY of the food esme served or if you're feeling sick, come here so i can treat you
if you find someone unconscious or unable to move on their own, BRING THEM HERE
if you don't have anyone around and think you need help getting here, reply to this message immediately

i threw up, so i tested some of the leftovers i took home
and that food is very, very poisoned
(also, if you brought leftovers home, don't eat them)


II. pick me up whenever i'm feeling down [in-person log]

[True to her word, Medic is ready and waiting in her lab the second anyone arrives.]

[The living room of the apartment she commandeered has been turned into a makeshift hospital. She's dragged cushions and mattresses in, laying them out on the floor and covering them with clean sheets and blankets to make sickbeds. Next to every bed is a glass of water and a bowl for, uh. Any stomach issues you might have to deal with.]

[Anyone healthy who walks in the door will be cheerfully pressganged into nursing duty.]

[The beds are set up facing the living room's lone TV, but well... this is Invidia. Guess who's probably on every channel.]

[You might have better luck with putting on a movie, but no one actually saw this coming, which means your available selection consists exclusively of stuff Medic brought with her from the Limbo library when she came down to Invidia. By which we mean exactly one film.]

[Whether having to see Esme's face is better or worse than watching Brutal Instinct again is a choice you're going to have to make amongst yourselves.]

Comments

[alcahest]

Oh — Phoenix...

[ she'd heard him coming, but hadn't thought he would be here for her, which is what surprises her. even though he can't see it, she still does her best to smile; she's remembered enough of her past friendships to know that it feels awful to worry people, and that the best way to prevent that is to pretend that nothing is wrong. ]

Everything's fine. I just... [ she hesitates. if it weren't Phoenix, maybe she wouldn't say, but: ] I'm not sure... if anyone wants me around at the moment.

[ it's an admission made with no small amount of guilt. it isn't just that she defended Esme, and Esme turned out to be just what everyone thought — it's that, even now, her feelings haven't changed. she wishes they had. she's sure that she's in the wrong here, that her feelings are objectively wrong, and she doesn't know how to fix it. ]

[discutio]

...Whyever wouldn't they?

[He tilted his head slightly; it wasn't the reasoning itself he failed to understand, Ariel's reaction alone spelled that out clearly enough.]

If they've any problem with you, then they would have the same issue with me. I've yet to hear anything.

[alcahest]

... But you want to go up against her.

[ her tone isn't accusatory; she doesn't mean it as a bad thing. what she means is that Phoenix is capable of that kind of outrage, that righteous anger that lets him decide: she needs to be dealt with. he can be compassionate, and still confront her. but Mona— ]

I can't... want that.

[ and she's not sure if that's kindness, or if it's just her own emptiness. ]

[discutio]

You're...right, but also wrong.

[He sighed, adjusting his visor as if looking for something to do with his hands.]

The situation is unfolding as to make it impossible for us to be anything but adversaries. If and when the time comes, I will go against her by necessity. But the fact that it is likely to be a necessity I will follow through upon does not mean I want to.

Despite even this...I sympathize with her still. She's desperate, clearly. I can not say I would be any less so in her position, and I hold doubts the others would be any different.

[alcahest]

[ that's right. Phoenix is the middle ground, between Ariel's hatred and her own cowardice. she doesn't begrudge anyone their anger, but Phoenix's, tempered, is easier to swallow. he was sharp with Esme when she was cruel, which she can understand. he never showed any kind of belief that she deserved to be punished. that's what curdles in her stomach when she hears it from the others. he isn't angry with her. is he? would he hate her for this? ]

... Phoenix, I—

[ it wrenches out of her in a rush, this sharp gasp of feeling that has been lodged in her throat since then. her usually measured, even voice strains with distress: ]

I don't want to be someone that makes her disappear. I don't want to take everything away from her. I can't—

[ she isn't crying, but there is a keening sort of desperation to it, almost pleading. Chiron asked her why the thought upset her so terribly, and she doesn't know. there is some black spot in her memories that she can still feel, even though there's nothing there. there is something she knows down to her bones. ]

[discutio]

I know--I would prefer not to, as well. But ultimately I don't know that it matters. Either we deal with the situation now, or we continue forth and she reincarnates all the same eventually once we've accomplished what we set out to do. We aren't left with many options, at least none I can find.

[Something about it bothered him too, if he thought about it. Things he didn't remember tugged uncomfortably in the back of his mind; what was it he disliked so much about dealing with someone who had clearly lived in a state of stagnation for far too long? He didn't know yet, but the discomfort was filed away to be examined later when it might make more sense.]

[For now, he held out a hand to Mona for her to take or not if she chose; it sounded as if she could benefit from an invitation for contact however she chose to take it.]

I won't ask you to fight with us, however loosely defined 'fight' is at the specific time. Let the rest of us handle it, and I'll not let anyone think they can speak on your reasoning.

[alcahest]

[ what they set out to do, huh... that's something she hasn't sorted out her feelings on yet, but she doesn't want to think about it either. the person she is now will disappear. it seems like if that's the case, then it would have been better if she had just stayed the way she was when she first woke up in Limbo, an empty shell waiting to be told what to do. she's only just barely regained the personhood she'd lost, and she's supposed to work towards erasing it again.

that, she's not ready to talk about. it's one thing to say she doesn't want to hurt Esme. it's another to be afraid of the very purpose she agreed to in the first place. the feeling sits in her gut, heavy and cold; the guilty thought that maybe she's a bad person for it. it's selfish of her to want something like that, isn't it? that's what they all think of Esme. so she won't say it, and she'll swallow it down.

what she won't deny herself right now is the little comfort Phoenix offers. she does hesitate a moment, but then she takes his hand, holding it with delicate care. ]

... Thank you. I don't want to cause any problems, so I'll keep quiet... [ if she doesn't say anything for the others to take issue with, he won't have to defend her. she'd feel awful if there was conflict because of her. ] At least I can help with something like this.

[discutio]

You aren't doing anything wrong.

[Gods knew he felt conflicted at best. Obviously stagnation to such extremes wasn't something that could be left alone; they would all have to reincarnate before long once all this was fixed.]

[But at the same time, could he blame someone for wanting to stay 'alive', existing as themselves rather than wipe the slate clean and begin anew?]

[For not the first time, Phoenix was painfully aware of something missing, far more pinpointed than the memories he'd barely begun to remember. Something, some purpose was gone from him, and a nagging instinct told him he wouldn't be finished with any of this until he understood what--or who--that feeling was so connected to.]

So you've nothing to hide from. If anyone wishes to argue that fact with you, you can refer them to me instead.