[Open] Dr. Medic's Sleepaway Funtimes Camp

[mementomoritz]

I. So girl keep telling me [network post]

[About three hours after the whole post-Esmeeting kerfuffle, every phone included in the Executor group chat suddenly blares loudly with an incoming post that appears to have every possible alert and priority notice the person writing it could find attached to it.]

ANYONE WHO ATE ANYTHING AT ESME'S HOUSE REPORT TO MEDIC IMMEDIATELY YOU ARE POISONED


[Well, you can't accuse her of burying the lede.]

i'm in my lab in invidia [The exact address and coordinates of the lab are attached along with the message, including a helpful photo of a scribbled map just in case anyone is really bad with directions.] if you ate ANY of the food esme served or if you're feeling sick, come here so i can treat you
if you find someone unconscious or unable to move on their own, BRING THEM HERE
if you don't have anyone around and think you need help getting here, reply to this message immediately

i threw up, so i tested some of the leftovers i took home
and that food is very, very poisoned
(also, if you brought leftovers home, don't eat them)


II. pick me up whenever i'm feeling down [in-person log]

[True to her word, Medic is ready and waiting in her lab the second anyone arrives.]

[The living room of the apartment she commandeered has been turned into a makeshift hospital. She's dragged cushions and mattresses in, laying them out on the floor and covering them with clean sheets and blankets to make sickbeds. Next to every bed is a glass of water and a bowl for, uh. Any stomach issues you might have to deal with.]

[Anyone healthy who walks in the door will be cheerfully pressganged into nursing duty.]

[The beds are set up facing the living room's lone TV, but well... this is Invidia. Guess who's probably on every channel.]

[You might have better luck with putting on a movie, but no one actually saw this coming, which means your available selection consists exclusively of stuff Medic brought with her from the Limbo library when she came down to Invidia. By which we mean exactly one film.]

[Whether having to see Esme's face is better or worse than watching Brutal Instinct again is a choice you're going to have to make amongst yourselves.]

Comments

[pioailurophobia]

What the-

I'm FINE, you IDIOT, but I thought YOU WERE ALL DYING!

AGAIN!

[schardynfreude]

Well, some of us were potentially going to die, but with Medic's expert assistance, everyone is going to be fine. A little dehydrated, but fine.

[pioailurophobia]

THAT'S NOT "FINE," YOU DUMBASS!

WHERE IS ESME!

...and, er. Who is she?

[schardynfreude]

Once they're rehydrated, it's perfectly fine.

And the lady is likely either back on some rooftop or in her mansion, or, really, it's hard to tell where she might be. She is the one who runs this level of Purgatory, and we've a plan to take her down several pegs.

Because you can't brute force her.

Literally. You can't. [softly: don't]

[pioailurophobia]

You haven't seen me try yet, old man.

[schardynfreude]

[His eyebrows raise.] I have seen you do quite a bit.

[pioailurophobia]

Then you can sit back and watch me do more. [Kingslayer raises their chin, defiant.]

[schardynfreude]

Ah, yes, and before Esme stops you dead in your tracks and throws you through several buildings, one must wonder how many innocents you'll bulldoze straight through this time.

1/2

[pioailurophobia]

[The moment Chiron's words leave his mouth, Kingslayer goes to sock him in the jaw, gauntlet crackling with the red lightning of their Executor transformation and the power of a Mana Burst.]

2/2

[pioailurophobia]

Say that again, bitch.

[schardynfreude]

[It doesn't grant him much room on a normal battlefield, but to avoid a punch in confined space, his warp does the trick, and Kingslayer's fist goes through a phantom afterimage. He's juked to the side.]

Temper temper. Which part, how Esme will stop you if we don't break her powerbase first, or how damaging your spectacle on the roof was? Perhaps I'll do a funny accent this time.

[pioailurophobia]

[Kingslayer doesn't even have words anymore. They pick up the nearest table, step forward and swing it at Chiron as if to bludgeon him with it-

Before letting go of it and using the table as a cover to activate Mana Burst's propulsion, skating to the opposite direction of where the table is being swung, summoning their sword, and swinging the flat of the blade right where they're anticipating Chiron's head will be after he teleports to avoid the table.]

[phantasmagorial]

THAT'S ENOUGH!

[ Did y'all know Rei could do a yell like that? Neither did she!! But here she is, scurrying over looking very much like a furiously angry kitten on the warpath. ]

What do you both think you're doing?!

[schardynfreude]

[It's at least a smart use of very confined space--if this were bigger, he might have gone backwards, or even forwards into the newly unoccupied space or even up, but as it is, there's little space to go except the side Kingslayer has predicted.

He's fast, though. It's very nearly instantaneous. But not quite. Alright, so he'll take a whack to the head, pray it remains on his shoulders, and he'll still be right at the end of the day.

And then Rei yells. Chiron's momentum stutters with a tripping half-turn to look at her...and into the armor poised to knock some sense into (or out of) him.

It's a very dignified sound he makes. Honest.]

[pioailurophobia]

[Rei's sudden interruption likewise catches Kingslayer off guard. Combined with her earlier lecture, all of the not-nerves in their not-body short circuit at once, and they pitch forward right into Chiron's torso as he stumbles towards them.

And then Mana Burst fades. Whatever cohesion held their not-muscles taut before fades and they collapse like a sack of rocks on top of Chiron.]

...he started it.

And I intended to finish it.

[phantasmagorial]

Neither of you are finishing anything!

[ Rei stands there, hands planted firmly on her hips and looking furious. It's like watching a kitten give Godzilla the third degree. ]

We're all trying to rest and the two of you are picking a fight! What's wrong with you?

[schardynfreude]

[Oof. They may be small, but it's still an oof from him. He raises his hand in a point of order from the pile.]

Not to be pedantic about this, but I was merely talking and then avoiding the unwarranted assault on my person, thank you.

this line really speaks for itself i think

[pioailurophobia]

I have perfect self-control, you smug jackass.

[phantasmagorial]

Obviously not, or you wouldn't have gone in swinging! Both of you should know better than this! I want both of you to stand up and apologize to each other!

[ we're REALLY DOING THIS ]

[schardynfreude]

I was speaking and have nothing to apologize for. [Maybe that's childish, but he does not think he is incorrect on the point!]

[pioailurophobia]

...I don't have a damn thing to apologize for either, but, uh.

I'm not able to stand up anyways.

[schardynfreude]

Oh, for Shiva's sake.

[Fine, okay, fine, Chiron will untangle himself from the little pile they're in, and grab Kingslayer by the arm to help heft them up.

He blinks.]

You are...tremendously lighter than I was anticipating.

[phantasmagorial]

Then at the very least you can apologize to Medic for throwing her table around and disturbing things and you can apologize to everyone here trying to rest for starting a fight!

And you can never do it again!

[pioailurophobia]

...sorry, Medic. [Considering the fact that they're actually hunching a little as they say that, there's a chance Kingslayer actually means it.]

And, er, apologies. Everyone.

[However, there's absolutely no truth behind those words.]

[schardynfreude]

I...hrm. I suppose I apologize for antagonizing with my words. [He doesn't look very sorry, but it's hard since Rei has gone all red again and it's cute? Chiron pats her gently on the head.] No one meant to trouble you.