cancry | sir, are you aware you are a dead

sir, are you aware you are a dead

[ Like many of the Spectres haunting this level of Purgatory, the man currently heading elsewhere with purpose doesn't particularly stand out. He looks to be around his mid-50s (or perhaps a fresh-faced 60), with brown hair showing the slightest hint of gray at the temples, and he dresses much like the average tenured college professor, though he seems to favour rather more purple in his choice of wardrobe than most college professors.

What does stand out is that he's drifting from place to place, actively questioning other Spectres - the same questions, over and over, as if looking for an out-of-place response. Questions about mortality and self-awareness, with death coming up as a constant topic.

He has a notebook in one hand. Every so often, he stops to make a mark on the open page, and then snaps it shut again with an air of slightly acerbic professionalism. ]

The consistency of these answers is intriguing in its implications, but hardly fruitful. And this place makes little sense, either. I'm almost certain the dead ought to be less talkative, on the whole...

[ He certainly doesn't know why he thinks that, but from the way he says it, he seems very firm on it.

He's paused for now, still glancing down at what notes he seems to have. The approach of any Executor will snap him out of his thoughts, however; despite his verging-on-sour expression, he seems genuinely surprised to see someone who doesn't just drift past or immediately launch into a dream-like dialogue. ]

Something for you?

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[There's definitely a different vibe to this dude, even from a distance. No Spectre would be quite so...

...all over the place.

So, of course, it's time to approach. Sup, old guy.]

Mm, well. You're a newbie, right? Right?

[ hello there, whippersnapper

All jokes about age aside, there's something about this girl that strikes a chord, some deep resonance. It's hard to keep hold of the days here, and the time he'd spent dreaming meant that grasping a proper timeline would be nigh-impossible, but there had been something out of place happening very recently... ]

New to being, ah, awake in this fashion? Yes, that seems correct. [ He could have said 'new to being dead', but...no, that had been something intimately, unsurprisingly familiar to him. He doesn't know how or why that is, or how that could even be possible; it's simply something embedded in his soul. ]

And by your greeting, I assume you have the advantage of experience.

Mm, I've been awake for a bit now! Executor Ariel, at your service. Welcome to being dead~ ☆

[how did she do that with her mouth]

...Ah, geez, I've been hanging around Medic too much...

[ There's a brief moment of squinting as Frost tries to figure out exactly how she managed to pronounce something that sounded like a sparkle in verbal form.

Never mind. Maybe that kind of thing happens here.

The greeting gets the slight, sharp tilt of a half-smile. ]

Welcome, indeed. I can't say it's an unfamiliar sensation. [ A sharp little shrug. He's entirely unfazed by being dead in a way that goes beyond normal acceptance. It might be a little odd, even for their situation. ] Though as to why that is, I really have no idea.

My name is Frost. And what, exactly, is an Executor? [ That's not a term he recognises, though he has a vanishingly small mental library of references to work with anyway, so that means very little. ]

Edited 2020-12-24 16:35 (UTC)

[He is very reminded of someone by this man: Hanneman]

...Professor...?

[He certainly sounds like a Professor]

[ That earns him a curious look. Was he a professor? He doesn't know, exactly, but the title seems fitting. ]

Perhaps, though I can't say for certain. [ Not a lot of things he can be certain about. ]

You seem less cloud-brained than the spirits I've conversed with over the past few days. I assume you're aware of your less-than-fortunate circumstances?

Yes sir, I have been for quite some time.

Intriguing. [ He's about to ask how long, but it seems futile to ask given how hard it is to track the flow of time here. ] I've seen one other, apart from yourself, but are there more than the two of you?

There are a few of us now- I would say we're a group of about a dozen? Though there may be others who are aware that we don't know about- people like yourself who become aware spontaneously.

Mm. I see. [ That does all seem to be in order. ] And - I assume - you're all in the same, ah, situation with...lack of memories?

[ He doesn't know why he feels reluctant to ask this question, of all things. By all rights it's one of the most important ones he can ask, at this juncture. But there's a certain distaste to being openly vulnerable that wars with his desire to know more; it hasn't quite won over yet, but it's certainly beginning to make itself known. ]

That's correct. But there is some hope- the memories do seem to start filtering back over time once you are aware of their loss.

[Funny thing about that: the girl that's just walked up to him is carrying a notebook of her own. She's been peering closely at various passing Specters and scribbling things down, muttering softly to herself, clearly intrigued by something.]

[But the second she hears the word "dead", she comes bounding over excitedly, clearly intent on him.]

Hello, did you just wake up? Do you remember anything from before you did? If you do, do you want to fill out a survey? I've had one just waiting for a Specter with some self-awareness- but if you're an Eidolon, that's great too! It's always fascinating to meet another one.

[ There's that same touch of resonance that he'd gotten from the other girl; it causes him to turn even before Medic speaks.

And, well... he can't exactly disapprove of this girl's methods. It's the same as what he was doing, after all.

He holds up a finger. ]

To answer your questions: yes, no, and I would if I didn't believe the results would be rather unhelpful to your research, in that order.

So those who wake into clarity are called Eidolons, and those spirits are called Specters. Is that correct?

Well, negative data is still data, thank you anyway. [She takes the response in stride, at least.] It's really looking more and more like I'm going to need to get a current Specter into my lab to get some answers on that- at least, once I can get the equipment I need...

[Medic flips to a new page in her notebook and begins making notes while speaking to him, apparently by now familiar enough with this particular method to write without having to look at the page.]

[...look, she can read her handwriting, it's fine. By doctor standards, it's not even that bad.]

Yes! For a substantial but undetermined period of time, there were very few recorded cases of Specters becoming Eidolons- and now suddenly, a bunch have been happening all at once! It's unclear whether this represents a shift in the environment or possibly some kind of inherent tipping point being reached or...

[Belatedly remembering her manners, she pauses her writing for a moment and shifts the notebook to one hand so she can hold out the other one:] It's nice to meet you, by the way! I'm Medic.

[ From the look on his face, he wouldn't have minded at all if Medic had just kept going with her explanation. After a moment, he politely shakes her hand with the air and expression of someone who's used to this sort of thing. ]

Frost. [ His voice is clipped and firm. ]

And perhaps I can help you with procuring a live specimen. [ Un-alive? Well, they're dead, and dreaming dead at that, so it seems more than a little ridiculous to refer to them that way, but... 'live' is close enough for the purpose of the term. ] Trends and changes in the environment tend to be reflected in the bodies of a place's inhabitants, and since there seems a noticeable lack of animals, we'll have to make do.

And if you have need of comparisons between an Eidolon and a Specter, I can offer myself. [ It's very casual, like he does this all the time. Perhaps this should be more worrying, but even if part of him objects to the idea, the rest of him disagrees strongly in the insistence for knowledge, or simply sits in the grip of strange apathy. ] I'd like to do further examination on bodily composition regardless, to see if it differs in any way.

Ooh, I may take you up on that- I've been trying to get a baseline established for as many Eidolons as possible, so I can tell if something's out of the ordinary with any future data.

[Seriously, people, come in for your checkups already. How is she supposed to tell you're sick when she doesn't know what "healthy" looks like for you?]

[Without missing a beat, she replies:] So far, it doesn't! From every examination I've been able to do in the field, Specters who appear visually human-standard have the same bodily reactions and structure as a living human subject- obvious nonhuman beings are present, but rare, and I don't know enough about their basic biology to speculate yet.

[No amount of asking has gotten anyone to sign the medical waiver for a vivisection yet, to her disappointment, but a surprising amount of people will agree to be examined on a less... intensive level, if you come at them with a stethoscope and a pleading expression.]

There is one intriguing exception, though! [She gives him a playfully conspiratorial grin.] Have you tried breaking the skin at all, since you woke up?

[And, putting her science money where her science mouth is, she uses the sharp end of her pen to jab the pad of one of her fingers- just enough to make a pinprick and draw some blood.]

[Or rather, the dark sparkly total lack of blood.]

Isn't it visually striking? [She holds it out for him to see better.] We call it pneuma!

Interesting! [ He leans down to inspect the flow of what seems to have replaced blood, his eyes alight with more-than-politely-scholarly curiosity. ] Do Specters share this particular phenomena, or is it just Eidolons? Is there any change in pneuma's composition between those who have awoken and those who have not, I wonder?

[ So many delightful questions, and not a single answer to be found as of yet. He couldn't be more pleased with being dead and without his memories. ]

Edited 2020-12-24 16:20 (UTC)

[Finally, someone who gets it.]

[Medic is just genuinely happy to be here. And doing research.]

I've noticed some very minor differences from person to person- I don't have much way to confirm, but it corresponds intriguingly well to what I'd expect to see with regards to different blood types in human beings. I've actually taken the liberty of beginning to categorize new pneuma types as I find them, in case I ever get to do a transfusion. [You know, just in case. You never know your luck, right?]

There doesn't seem to be any universal difference between Spectral pneuma and Eidolon pneuma- or even Executorial pneuma, which is where I would have really expected changes to start showing! ...Oh!

[Whoops.]

I really should have explained Executors and Revenants first, let me just find my chart.

[She flips back much further in the book- thankfully, with the hand that isn't bleeding- and flips it around to show him a chart.]

[It's split along two axis: awareness versus unawareness and power versus unpowered. Specters and Eidolons are both listed as unpowered, in the unaware and aware categories respectively. Meanwhile, the powered category contains unaware Revenants... and aware Executors.]

[There's also a worryingly detailed sketch of one of the Revenants she'd fought back in the Limbo layer, in all the grotesque glory she can capture on the page. ]

The short version is that Eidolons can choose to become Executors if given the opportunity, while sufficiently old and unstable Specters can degrade into Revenants! ...It's actually kind of a problem, apparently.

[A pause, as she considers that for a moment.] Well, it's definitely a problem for the Revenant, at least!

[ It's certainly a good start. This girl is thorough; he can't help but approve.

Something itches at him; the notion of being unpowered. Why that bothers him, he couldn't say. Perhaps, like so many other things, the key lies in what he can feel is missing, those empty, tattered edges where something used to be that he grasps for. ]

So given sufficient time and motivation, a spirit can decay into such a creature...fascinating. [ Despite the implied horrific fate, his tone is one of genuine interest. ] I wonder if that fate awaits all spirits, eventually...though I suppose such a phenomenon defies attempts at categorization. Perhaps it's simply a question of archiving more of them...finding a pattern. [ He's half talking to himself at this point. ]

And how does one choose to become an Executor, then? It's not simply something you become in time, like a Revenant?

It's unclear- supposedly Specters decay inevitably, while Eidolons can remain indefinitely unaffected, but we've confirmed that an Eidolon can regress back to being a Specter if they undergo sufficient trauma. [JUST SAYING THAT TOTALLY CASUALLY, LIKE IT'S FINE.] I'd love to have more than anecdotal data to go off of, but you work with what you have.

[No sense moping about it, right? That would cut into her science time.]

Nope! As far as we can tell, you need a more experienced Executor to... hmm, unlock an Eidolon's potential? Establish the connection? Your power's yours once you have it, but someone else needs to provide the initial spark.

[She's already pulling out her phone to text Rei about finding another one.]

Edited 2020-12-24 18:38 (UTC)

Perhaps we'll be fortunate enough to witness such a transformation. Though I don't doubt it would be difficult to get truly hands-on with the whole affair, a visual aid would be quite useful...

The power to unlock potential...Hm. [ That gives rise to an uncomfortable feeling, though like many of his feelings he doesn't know why it exists or is making itself known. ] Is it truly just born of experience? [ That seems...too simple somehow but hell, what does he know. Basically nothing. ]

We have absolutely no way of knowing yet! [Just cheerfully admitting that.] Rei is the most experienced Executor by a really wide margin, and she's also the only person we know that can turn Eidolons into Executors- but correlation isn't causation! For all we know, there could be some completely unknown factor involved, something we've never even considered.

[She looks wistfully anticipatory at the mere thought.]

I was one of the first batch she activated, and I can't make more Executors- I tried. [Pouting slightly before brightening up again.] Still, none of us have been doing this for very long compared to her, so it might just be a matter of time. And if it isn't, that raises plenty of interesting questions all by itself!

[Remember: if you fuck up, but you write it down and learn from it, then it's science.]

What an intriguing existence. And here I thought the afterlife would give me less to do, and not more. [ He sounds pleased, rather than at all irritated. The idea of being idle doesn't sit well with him. ]

And what exactly is an Executor supposed to do in the realms of the dead? It seems a rather lonely post, if this Rei was the only one for quite a while.

It's been very interesting so far! I just wish I had a way to publish my findings... [Death needs an accredited university, or at least a couple of journals. ...actually, maybe she should try using some of that new fame to start one.]

That's where things get a little complicated. From what Rei said, Executors are supposed to help Specters travel down to the bottom of Purgatory so they can eventually be reincarnated, usually by using their powers to kill Revenants and keep people safe? But, well...

[She makes a vague gesture.]

When you woke up, did you get the feeling that something was really wrong somehow, in a way you couldn't explain?

We think the Cogs of Renewal, the stuff down in the depths that lets people get reborn- it's broken. Everyone's still coming into the afterlife... but no one's going back out.

So I think right now, our real job is getting down to the last layer and fixing that! [But you know, no pressure or anything.]

[ This seems exceptionally funny to him! He doesn't know why. But the idea of fixing something to do with the proper workings of the afterlife seems unreasonably amusing.

He tries to not let that automatic, contextless response show on his face. He does a credible job of it. ]

So some kind of afterlife guardian, then. Well. It sounds rather tedious, I admit, but certainly more productive than wandering about, doing nothing.

And I suppose the further down an Executor goes, the more odd the Revenants become, hm? Which is, if nothing else, good for research.

[ If he can't start a lovingly detailed archive of the myriad twisted forms of the soul what is the POINT ]

Exactly! The differences between this layer and the previous one alone have fascinating implications for the entire postmortem spiritual predator-prey ecology.

[This guy gets it, she's so happy.]

Not to mention the potential of eventually studying the Cogs themselves! I'm a biologist, not an engineer, but something that can affect people on such a profound spiritual level but is tangible enough to be broken... how could I not want to know more about it? I'll learn about clockwork if I have to!

[It's not that she has a God complex, really- she'd just like to explore the possibility of playing God a little, so she can document it for future generations. Assuming there are any, after these disasters get access to the machinery of creation.]

So... do you want a job? Because it sounds like you're interested and I can absolutely call Rei for you, if you want to talk to her, but I don't want to assume. Making major decisions about someone's spiritual state for them would be very rude of me, probably! [...She's trying.]

I suppose getting in the habit of making decisions about anyone's spiritual state would be a poor thing. And yet, in the case of Revenants, that appears to be one area where Executors have authority to make those decisions... [ He stops himself before he gets on a tangent. Of course he agrees, but there's a complicated contextless tangle of feelings that slow his answer for just a moment. ]

But yes, I'd certainly enjoy something to do. [ Put me to work, he almost says, and then there's that strange hesitation that seizes his tongue. ] It's not a terribly difficult decision to make for me, I would think.

[ He's oddly forgiving about the idea. ]

Hmmm, that is an interesting point... well, morals were never really my specialty! [Just admitting that so cheerfully.] But that's what ethical review boards are for, right? ...I mean, that's what they always told me they were for, when I was alive. They were very emphatic about that one!

[She types out a text for Rei, telling her the location and situation, and hits send.]

[ It's not long before Rei arrives, looking very much like someone who has been doing their best to compose themselves and not quite managed it. She's a little winded (she ran all the way here, as usual...) but she manages a smile. ]

Medic...! And, ah... [ turning her attention to the Eidolon with her... ] So, this is our new friend, then.

'Apprentice' might be a better word, given the unique circumstances. [ He inclines his head in a nod. Even if his superiors in experience do happen to be teenagers, he's completely out of his depth. He can be arrogant, but not when he has nothing to build on.

'Friends' seems like an odd word to use for someone you just met but he's not going to quibble with that either. ] But regardless of terminology, I'm in your care.

By the sounds of things, Medic's already explained most of what you need to know, right? Where we are, why we're here... and what we're trying to do.

Do you want to come with us? Or would you rather stay here?

She has. She is exceptionally thorough. [ Some people might have paused before the 'thorough'. He is not one of those people; it seems to be pleasing to him. ]

[ He shakes his head, a quick jerk, and his response is immediate. ] Stay and be stuck among the barely-conscious dead, or come and see how everything in this place works? Hardly a choice.

I'll come with you, of course.

[ Rei just nods. ]

I can't promise you it'll be safe... but we all do what we can do look out for each other.

[ Then she hesitates for a moment. ]

Do you... want to come with us as you are? Or do you want to fight?

Well...I'd rather not remain powerless, if given the choice. [ He doesn't know why that makes him feel uncomfortable, the sense that he's diminished, less than he was. But it is what it is. Having little else to fall back on, he can only trust the echo of his instincts, those little fragments that feel only partially like himself. ] And while I've been assured you've gathered other like-minded souls to your cause, there is strength in numbers.

[ She gives a little nod, already tugging down her sleeve to expose the black tattoo on her wrist. ]

Alright. Then... just take a deep breath and I'll establish the contract.

[ The black tattoo on her wrist turns gold and then white, washing everything around them out in a wave of light. The world feels weightless for a moment before everything snaps back to normal, with only Frost left feeling... different.

Contract established. ]

Not particularly.

[She's clearly in a bad mood, but she turns her head up.]

What is this, another marketing survey?

Do all the surveys you undertake involve questions about mortality? [ If she's in a bad mood, he can be in just as much of a bad mood back to her. ]

Hmph. Generally not. So you're aware, then.

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sir, are you aware you are a dead

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cw: very minor self-harm

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enters with a sliding whistle noise

[toot]

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