Training Log 3: Revelations

[crypddyd]

As we have more newcomers again, I will be holding another training session. It will be the same place as before- the part in Limbo. There will be refreshments as well, so even if you do not wish to spar please feel free to come and observe!

[It's that time again! Lion has his little (now a bit beat up since he keeps using the same space) claimed track of land in Limbo set up- wide spaces for people to pair off, a fold-out table with snacks and chairs for sitting and chatting. And of course himself off to the side with his lance in hand- willing to take all challengers and give tips and advice to anyone that comes to him!

He does though, go seeking someone specific out during all this: Chiron]

My friend, may I speak with you in private for a moment?

[There is no feeling of dread here that's just your imagination!]

((ooc: As usual this is a mixer post, so feel free to toss up starters as desired! I will have one for Lion as well if anyone wants to poke him in specific- but use this as a chance to show off- I mean try out new powers you've gained since last time!))

Comments

[crypddyd]

I spoke to Ruin recently about an... altercation?

[He wants to hear what Chiron says without any prompting or hint what Ruin actually said]

[schardynfreude]

[Ah, there's the dread. Chiron grimaces, looking away.] I see. Of course he would say something about it to you. [since y'all boyfriends] I would not necessarily use that word, although he certainly had something of an altercation with some ladies beforehand.

[crypddyd]

[He scoffs slightly]

That doesn't surprise me. Tell what happened?

[schardynfreude]

He was...out of sorts after being unceremoniously pushed into a fountain. Wet and freezing and trying to make his way up the stairs while barely able to hold himself upright. I...some form of me...aimed to help. In some fashion.

[crypddyd]

Some form?

[schardynfreude]

Neither of us were...quite in our sounded minds. I think we were both, ah, remembering and reacting to those memories.

[crypddyd]

Oh- thank the goddess that explains things.

[And the aura of dread is just gone like that]

[schardynfreude]

...Hm? [He may have been distracted for a moment.] It...does it?

1/2

[crypddyd]

Yes. When Ruin described what happened to me it seemed.... forgive me, but it seemed out of character for you. This is not to say I didn't believe him, but there seemed to be more to the story. If you were under the sway of, what did Medic call it again? Ah, memetic shock, then the strange behavior makes sense.

[crypddyd]

...

Of course, if it turned out you were being cruel for its own sake, we were going to have.... concerns to work out.

[schardynfreude]

Ha, is that what she calls it...

[He runs a hand through his hair, and said hair falls right back into its messy manner once more.] Part of me wanted to be cruel for the sake of it. I feel...that feels familiar. True I gave him quite the nudge down the stairs, but that was reeling back some dark form of me that simply wanted to kick him full force without a care. I was...somewhere in the middle, straddling a line between this reality and the one...revealed in my memories.

He was, as well. I do not believe he was seeing me when he looked at me.

[crypddyd]

I will not go into details- it is not my story to tell. But I will say if that's true... your red hair likely didn't help.

And I am in no position to judge you- the man I was when I was alive was far from a saint. But please... I don't want to ever see you as an enemy, Chiron.

[schardynfreude]

I believe we witnessed Kingslayer go through something similar. If far more destructive overall.

I... [He pauses, uncertain, looking away. Raises a hand to his mouth and rubs at his stubble.] It would be hypocrisy of me to suggest that our memories do not have to change us. I feel I am...changed even now.

[crypddyd]

I understand. I am not the man I was when we first became aware either.

We may not be able to stay innocent, but... perhaps we can make better choices.

[schardynfreude]

Phoenix said he does not want to fight me, in spite of things I did while alive. I wonder, were I to remember someone who severely wronged me, if I would be able to keep my calm in such a manner.

[crypddyd]

[A grim look crosses Lion's face at that, and a hazy dimness to his eye]

...I am not so sure I could either. My rage at Esme was proof enough of that, and I was not even the one she poisoned. Phoenix is a good man.

[schardynfreude]

Too good for me, I'm afraid. Though at least he is willing to try. He could stand to listen to others when they express concern and realize they aren't belittling him, but--

[Chiron shakes his head, inhale, exhale.]

I will do my best to be who I...would like to be, but if I become more, ah, myself...who could blame me? And I hardly have the whole story. I barely have any at all.

[crypddyd]

[He nods]

We can only do the best we can with what we know.

... perhaps it would be kinder, for some of us, to reach the Cogs before we become someone we won't recognize. Before we kill the men we are now.

[schardynfreude]

Perhaps. Perhaps some of us deserve our histories, our previous selves, to be erased. [But he hisses lowly at the idea.] And yet it seems wrong, does it not? We may not be the same as we were, but who we were did exist. We all did whatever we did for whatever reasons we each thought were right. Just because the things I did strike me as blatantly evil now--I must have had reason to do so, and clearly I must have thought myself in the right.

I...I simply do not know. We will all go, in the end, inevitably.

[crypddyd]

[he thinks over his words, processing them with the weight they deserve]

Perhaps you are right. It may just be cowardliness that makes me hesitate to learn more.

[schardynfreude]

...In any event, I have not spoken to Ruin since. I doubt he would want to, and if he did, he would react with careless flippancy.

[crypddyd]

It is how he hides his thoughts and feelings. If you would like I can bring him a message? It may ease things a bit?

[schardynfreude]

I imagine the two of you are spending quite a bit of time together these days.

[crypddyd]

[He blushes]

Ah... is it obvious?

[schardynfreude]

[He just. Raises his eyebrows. Was that rhetorical?]