一乗寺 賢 🐛 Ichijouji Ken (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ourtomorrow) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
cancry2020-12-06 07:30 am
ourtomorrow) wrote in cancry2020-12-06 07:30 am
all tween heartthrobs are angsty as hell
A-ah......AAUGH!
[ It happens because of sunlight.
The boy had been drifting through Limbo, as he does every day - reporting to a school without any sense of how he gets there or how he returns, or even where he returns - when the sight of sunlight shifting against a wall had caught his eye. He'd paused, for the first time, reflected upon this. Sunlight means it's gotten warmer, doesn't it? And warmer means....seasons....
....wait, do seasons exist here, so then how does he know what they are
where is he going
why is he going there
what is he doing here
he's
he's
It hits him like a slap to the face, and he's running through the streets now, pushing past people (sorry), trying to make sense, for the first time, of the roads and the paths and route he's been gliding down every day without thinking, but it doesn't, and the MORE he thinks about it the more lost he gets, this isn't normal, this isn't right, and the reason it's like this is because it's....because he's....
I'm dead, the boy realizes, and that knowledge comes coupled with another thought. He doesn't know where it's come from, but only that it opens a pit in his stomach that he feels himself falling into.
I've failed. ]
I-it can't be...It can't be!
[ Someone will be hurt, if he dies - it's burned into the core he's only just realized he has, an aversion to being dead, an aversion to doing harm. To whom? He doesn't remember. Who has meaning to him? What meaning does he have to himself....?!
Oh. This stops him. And he finally falls to his knees. ]
W-who am I....?
[ Weird that a kid this bland-looking could be so dramatic. But here he be. Good luck with that. ]
[ It happens because of sunlight.
The boy had been drifting through Limbo, as he does every day - reporting to a school without any sense of how he gets there or how he returns, or even where he returns - when the sight of sunlight shifting against a wall had caught his eye. He'd paused, for the first time, reflected upon this. Sunlight means it's gotten warmer, doesn't it? And warmer means....seasons....
....wait, do seasons exist here, so then how does he know what they are
where is he going
why is he going there
what is he doing here
he's
he's
It hits him like a slap to the face, and he's running through the streets now, pushing past people (sorry), trying to make sense, for the first time, of the roads and the paths and route he's been gliding down every day without thinking, but it doesn't, and the MORE he thinks about it the more lost he gets, this isn't normal, this isn't right, and the reason it's like this is because it's....because he's....
I'm dead, the boy realizes, and that knowledge comes coupled with another thought. He doesn't know where it's come from, but only that it opens a pit in his stomach that he feels himself falling into.
I've failed. ]
I-it can't be...It can't be!
[ Someone will be hurt, if he dies - it's burned into the core he's only just realized he has, an aversion to being dead, an aversion to doing harm. To whom? He doesn't remember. Who has meaning to him? What meaning does he have to himself....?!
Oh. This stops him. And he finally falls to his knees. ]
W-who am I....?
[ Weird that a kid this bland-looking could be so dramatic. But here he be. Good luck with that. ]
no subject
no subject
So we all need to help and be helped.
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no subject
[ And he does, he thinks. Executors....Revenants. She'd mentioned reincarnation wasn't functioning, earlier. And the souls here are in danger as a result.
Meanwhile, he'd known nothing of any of this - of anything. Why had he awoken now? And what is he supposed to do, in his current...
He's dead. That's still raw. But he can't come to terms with that until he knows his current situation. ]
Is it normal? To not remember. Anything.
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[ Like right now. He doesn't even understand why not understanding bothers him so much! Who is he - was he?
Though...what if those are two different questions?
He doesn't know who he was. Who he is....
Is that something he can figure out, he wonders. ]
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[ Huh. Maybe that's what he should be focused on? That feels...right, somehow. Like his instinct is to stare at the gaping hole left by forgetting everything that's happened, but a part of him rebels. ]
That's right. Because I'm aware, I can walk forward.
[ This feels like a major discovery. It doesn't ease the pain of being dead (why does that hurt? why does he feel guilty?) or of knowing his living self committed crimes worthy of being sent to Purgatory (how can he make amends for what he doesn't recall?), but it does give him - something. Hope? A sense of agency?
He hasn't pinpointed the feeling yet, but that won't stop him from acknowledging what this means to him. ] Thank you.