Avaritia Arrival Log

[cancrymods]

AVARITIA

It's Vegas, baby! Oh wait, I already made that joke on the location page... With Esme's iron-fisted reign brought to an end and the Executors given time to take a very well-earned break, it finally comes down to descend to the next layer of Purgatory. Thankfully, with this being the group as a whole's second descent, things are a little less nerve-wracking this time around... maybe. Hopefully. ... Probably. Welcome to Avaritia. Feel free to use this arrival log to chronicle your initial misadventures in the Greed Layer of Purgatory. As noted in the location page, several locations will require further investigation if you'd like to get some information on them, so get investigating! Drop a comment down to the Investigation Request subheader if you'd like to explore. Get out there and have fun!

Comments

[schardynfreude]

[And up go the eyebrows.] When you were still unclear on the topic of love? A bit...presumptuous of him, wasn't it?

[twibeast]

A little bit I suppose but in his defense I feel... that he either had not realized or had forgotten that I was struggling with it. By that point we had been together for a very long, well more than a decade.

[ He can't... say exactly how long it was because time flows differently for him but he knows it was a long time for a mortal. ]

I can't exactly fault him for wanting to discuss the idea after that long, considering we were already essentially living like a married couple anyway. Nor can I blame him for feeling hurt when he got the wake up call that I still didn't understand how these things worked.

[schardynfreude]

But surely you worked it out? If you loved each other--if he loved you, truly, and you felt something even if you couldn't explain it.

[twibeast]

[ Beast goes quiet again, and if Chiron still has his hand he might feel it clench closed. ]

We... worked it out that night, yes. I may have been emotionally immature in many ways but one thing I was always good at was picking up on when people were upset or angry, especially if it was my fault. [ Probably because you were severely gaslighted to think everything was your fault before you even met Patroclus but hey, don’t have those memories back yet. ] So I did my best to try and rectify the matter. I even tried to agree to marriage anyway to make him happy but he wouldn’t let me force myself to do anything I wasn’t yet ready for just for his sake.

...But things were no longer the same after that, I could tell. We stayed together for a few more years but I still couldn’t give him what he wanted from a long term relationship and he wasn’t getting any younger. Soon enough he broke up with me and I decided to go back into the forest to sleep for a while.

When I was finally able to see him again I learned that he had ultimately come to regret that decision... that he was never able to move on from me. But by that time it was too late; he was old and frail, speaking to me from his deathbed.

[schardynfreude]

...I'm so sorry.

[There's not much more than that, is there? He can't imagine...]

At least, perhaps, it's better than not knowing?

[twibeast]

[ He nods. ]

Yes, I would agree with that - I hate to think of the greater agony I would have felt otherwise. I... am very grateful that I had the chance to talk to him one more time and clear the air like that.

...The last thing he told the Beastials was that I was one of their kin now. That it was me that changed them into what they were now. He requested that they cherish and care for me in his stead, and I came to be known as their Guardian Beast. They absolutely adored me and I did the best I could to protect and take care of them.

But it was... a very long time before I felt that same way about anyone again. And once I finally understood my own heart, it was hard to not regret the time we lost because of my shortcomings.

[schardynfreude]

But you grew up. As slowly as such a thing comes to someone who, I imagine, finds aging to be a funny little concept, hm? [If he is like unto an Astral, anyway.] You learned, and you grew from the mistakes of the past. And you were able to move onward, without forgetting who came before.

[twibeast]

[ There is a relief that comes from hearing Chiron say that. Logically he knows that there is a stark difference between the strange, clueless creature that was Patroclus' lover and the elder man who had become Princess Odile's father, but with so much information and such strong feelings of regret all hitting him at once he felt himself waver. Felt himself become unsure of if he had actually grown at all. Hearing it now is a reassurance he didn't even realize would help ease his mind. ]

...I suppose I did after all, didn't I? Thank you, I feel like I needed to hear that from someone else just now.

[schardynfreude]

I can only hope that I'm right and not just talking out my backside!

[twibeast]

[ He laughs. ]

I would hope so too. I would hate to make you a liar.

[ a pause ]

...I am not often one to talk much about myself but I appreciated this, Chiron.

[schardynfreude]

Well. What has there been to talk about? Our memories are a double-edged sword, you see. We'll learn what we can about yourselves, but without choosing what parts.

[twibeast]

Mm, yes I suppose that's true. And it's difficult to talk about them sometimes without a full picture... that's what's been making this one so disorienting, frankly.

[schardynfreude]

Seems you've gotten quite a chunk of time back. [He blinks, pales for a moment. He's not...he's still not certain of the amount of time in his last memory, but surely it's--months...years? ...More?] For...some measurement thereof, I suppose.

[twibeast]

It... a "chunk" is certainly one way to describe it. It's honestly quite absurd.

[ Why can't his memories of his son be this long!! Rude! He wants to see more of his little boy! ]

[schardynfreude]

Absurd seems to be what we deal in, here. [Death, afterlife, magical girl transformations, etc.]

[twibeast]

[ God, he'll drink to that. Or he would if they had any.

He stares ahead for a moment, not focusing on anything at all, before speaking again. ]

...There is one thing I feel I should probably clarify though.

[schardynfreude]

Ah? And what is that?

[twibeast]

Despite my... similarities to what the people of Rhearth consider a "beast", I... am not actually that at all. They considered me one because it's what they knew, but the truth of the matter is that while I did have a lot of power, it did not compare to the real mythical beasts they told stories of.

I'm something else entirely, something not even originally from that world. It was the place I considered home... but not the same world where I was born.

[schardynfreude]

You...traveled between worlds? [did ardyn ever really go to ancient egypt WE JUST DON'T KNOW] As such like a, ah, hm, like an alien being?

[twibeast]

Is that the word for it? If it is then I suppose so. It was less "between" though. From what I told Patroclus it is actually impossible to return to my original world once you leave it, so casting one out and into another world is usually a form of punishment.

[ A beat -- and then he realizes he should probably clarify. ]

--Ah, that's not why I was there though... supposedly, anyway. I claimed to have left of my own free will.

[schardynfreude]

I...see. [he does not???] Forgive me, this is quite a bit to process from the outside. Given movement between worlds is...not something where I come from. That I'm aware of. Yet. [DOES EOS HAVE SATELLITES, HAVE THEY BEEN TO THE MOON-]

So you exiled yourself from your world and found another where you are similar to but not on the same power scale as the gods of said world.

[twibeast]

It's... all right. This is part of why I was unsure about talking about it with anyone. I'm not the only outsider in that world [ and he is not even going to touch on that right now, we would be here all day talking about goddesses and fairies and priestesses ] so it is not too strange to me but I figured that would not be the case for other places. But yes, you essentially have the gist of it.

[schardynfreude]

Well! You being not the only one gives me some comfort, even if it means little at the moment. Both alone and not alone at the same time. It's something, at least.

[twibeast]

I... suppose.

[ He seems a little... affected by that choice of words. But he forces himself not to think on it for now. (In a few more memoria though...) ]

It sounds like a step up from my original world either way. I... do not remember it first hand yet, only the things I told Patroclus when he asked why I left but...

...It sounded like a truly miserable place.

[schardynfreude]

There must have been good reason for you to exile yourself, after all. It's not a thing one does lightly.