cancry | 1 ⚙️

1 ⚙️

[Remember that one Spectre randomly accosting people for interviews on fuck all? Looks like some teenage D-bag in shades actually saw fit to entertain her questions. Oh dear. The brief interview doesn't get nearly as much unreal air as li'l Miss Invidia of poisonous fame, but it's playing here and there today. The brief clip might not merit any attention at all, except...]

...local establishment you think more Invidians should know about?

[The kid lights up suddenly without actually smiling, rising up a little on the balls of his feet with his hands still jammed in his pockets.]

Shit, dawgs, you have no idea. You got yourselves a national--or, like--at least a municipal treasure sitting like a bereft and sack-clothed widow at the corner of Ignored and Abandoned. You assholes don't know what you're missing. It's a downright indignation, the lack of patronage enjoyed by this magnificently unironic piece of shit business modeling. Hold on to your asses because I'mma need you to get 'em parked pronto-mundo in the chairs at Mr. Dudeguy's BBQ and Foot Massage-While-You-Wait.

[He takes a breath, and it's at this point the interviewer really should have moved on, but it's too late. It's always already too late.]

Got a long-standing nation in my imagination
All staycationing in line at the bee-bee-queue,
Awaitin' pork and grilled onions while Granny get her bunions
Caressed lovingly in the hands of a master in toe-fu,
By which I mean podia-shiatsu-jutsu-fu,
Though you could probably order tofu, too, I mean, I ain't the boss of you
If that's the shit you want to order smoked and spice-rubbed for you.
Uh, anyway,
All I'm sayin' is it's the sweetest jerk-and-rub of a release
Your mortal soul can experience post-cease.

[...Did he just--]

You know, if that's how you feel about it. Anyway, yeah. Check it. Cat does a sweet kebab.

[In any case, business is now booming at BBQ and Foot Massage-While-U-Wait. Lines are out the door and around the block. A full street away, a hunched, furtive-looking blond is bargaining in desperate, hissed tones with a seller of hoodies.]

Please, no, I'm begging--no. I can't give you the sunglasses, I'm on a strictly no shades-trades platform. Can't you just--holy shit.

[Sensing someone looking at him, he stiffens and turns away further. He will ollie off this entire layer if he has to, Jesus.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, no not at all! Lady Rei is a very kind girl, she does not force us into anything. I don't think she has the ability to make someone an Executor unwillingly even if she did want to.

It would protect you from reverting to your sleeping state, and there would be others to... exist... with. But you do not have to fight if you don't wish.

Huh.

...Well, not like it's gonna kill me-- [He says with an exaggerated, eye-rolling shrug.] --to hear what your girl's got to say. And I got nothing better to do until the massive hype re: my ass dies down to the normal, acceptable levels of fannish devotion.

So, you know. Okay. I guess interested's a thing I can sort of be right now.

[He smiles, looking pleased]

Very well, then I will escort you... in case of more excited fans.

[Yeah he totally recognized him earlier. He's not STUPID]

I go by Lion.

Oh, uh. ...Clocks. That's what I remember.

[Clocks joins your party! Clocks frowns.]

Should I hide under your cape or--no, that's stupid.

Clocks. Understood.

[he ponders]

You're tall enough that it would be a bit awkward.... oh, here-

[He dismisses his Executor armor, it turning into slightly more modern looking clothing- including a blue hooded fur-lined jacket. He takes it off and offers]

Will this work?

Edited 2020-10-17 21:13 (UTC)

...

This is the sweetest shit anyone's ever done for me in my whole damn unlife.

[Or, you know, as long as he can remember. But yeah, he takes it and sticks his arms through the sleeves and who CARES if maybe it smells like unwashed boar, IT'S SO BIG AND FUZZY AND BLUE. He flips the hood up and actually grins under the fur.]

Hell fuckin' yes. Man, you're a gentledouche and a scholar.

I will admit I... only understood half of what you just said. But I'm glad it's acceptable.

[It does smell a little boar-y, but it is very warm!]

Let's head off then, it should not be hard to find Lady Rei...

[Clocks is evidently happy enough to follow in his highly un-emotive way.]

You really dig her, huh? Calling her 'Lady' and all. Or are you actually like for real an oldschool knight, with all that plate?

[ And sure enough, it's not! She's still not feeling one hundred percent after The Esme-ing but she's well enough to be sat in the park, pouring over what feels like her five hundredth idol magazine of the day. She is STUDYING.

She glances up when the two of them approach though, looking relieved to have an excuse to put the magazine aside. ]

Ah, Lion... [ and then she notices Clocks. ] And a friend...?

Well, I am certainly fond of her, but do not mistake it for anything... untoward. She is quite a bit younger than me. I simply have much respect for her... and I do recall something like knight training. So you might be correct there.

[Oh, there she is!]

Lady Rei! Yes, this is Clocks. I found him in the... Entertainment District?

[he's still unsure about the names of things here]

[Oh holy shit, yeah, she's tiny. Even Clocks looks faintly embarrassed by his own suggestion. Still, he rallies and nods.]

'Sup. I hear there's a problem with some gears downstairs?

[ That gets a weary smile. ]

I guess you could put it like that. ... You're awake, like the rest of us, right?

[ Presumably why Lion brought him here. ]

How much do you know so far?

[Lion goes to glance at the magazines she was reading, deciding to stay for now sine clocks seemed so unsure about all of this.]

I told him some of the basics, but... explanations are not my strong point.

I'm dead, shit's broke, you guys are trying to go fix it but that Esme broad is blocking the way somehow with TV mind control but not really? Also you give people magical transformation powers but the fighting's optional.

[A glance Lion's way, then back to Rei. Not that it's easy to tell, what with the sunglasses.]

...Didn't actually hear much about what y'all come up against specifically. Hellish horseshit, I'd have to guess, given the premise.

[ That's a pretty good cliffnotes version of events, huh. Shout out to Lion. ]

... well... since we're all stuck here, there's been souls who've been here long enough to completely lose parts of themselves even without going through the Cogs of Renewal. It ends up driving them mad and turning them into... something else.

They're called Revenants and they're more dangerous than you'd think.

If the Cogs are not restored we all would eventually become similar beasts. In destroying them we return them to a more basic form... so there is no concern about 'killing' them in any true way.

...Hadn't even gotten around to worrying about that yet, TBH.

[One hand's stuffed in the pocket of the jacket Lion's lending him, the other rubs the back of his skull as he mulls this all over.]

Look, I'll keep it real. I'm not jazzed about the idea of having to play underworld combat hero here, but... doesn't look like any of us have a lot of wiggle room. Weird undead monster transformation is not my kink and that's okay.

If I agree to help you, am I signing onto the whole thing? Like, all in, forever? We get to hang up the cape or whatever if we're done before quest's end?

What? No, you– of course I wouldn't– I mean–

[ She seems so flustered-slash-horrified at the entire concept he's presenting that she ends up leaping to her feet to emphasize her words.

... Not that it makes a huge amount of difference, height-wise, but still. ]

You don't have to do any of this if you don't want to! And even if you decide to become an Executor – you can leave any time. We'd never make you fight or force you to come with us if it wasn't something you wanted to do.

[Would picking her up to Dave's eye line help? He won't because that's a weird thing to do unprompted but just say the word, Lady Rei!

He does nod along with this though, not wanting to interrupt]

Oh. Well, all right. Sounds cool.

[A second, and then he nods, just in case they don't get it. He's in.

THAT'S IT THAT'S ALL IT TAKES.]

... A–are you sure?

[ This seems SUSPICIOUSLY easy!! ]

Yeah, like--you're saying I don't have to throw down if I don't want to and I can ollie whenever. So it's not like I'm doing more than temporarily pledging my allegiance to the flag of ye Afterschool Ghost Club for a Better Future. Least I can do after the Big L here let me borrow the literal shirt off his broad and mildly smelly back.

[He spreads his arms to show off Lion's hoodie.]

Who knows how many prostrate torsos of boot-kissing fans I'd be tripping over around here otherwise. Shit, I'm rude but I'm not ungrateful.

The Big L... I quite like that.

Wait... I am not smelly! Lady Rei, you would tell me if I was smelly, correct?!

[He does have a bit of under washed hobo man funk to him, sorry Lion that comes with being from pre-showers]

[ . . . ]

Anyway!

[ Rei very pointedly Does Not Answer. ]

If you're really sure, then I can offer you the contract right now. B–but only if you're really, really sure!

[ Her manners mean she has to ask at least thirty times before being completely sure about actually getting this on track. ]

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