cancry | Avaritia Arrival Log

You think we're from the same place?

[Lion might not be willing to say it but it's a logical conclusion. ]

We might have known each other... Or at least of each other. Like I said, nobility.

...I think it's possible, yes. I remember that I was indeed high nobility. Likely even-

[He furrows his brow, not sure if he wants to say it outright]

- royalty of some sort, due to how those in my memories addressed me.

Royalty?!

[Ruin leans back and whistles, though it's quickly broken by a grin he can't keep off his face.]

I dunno you don't seem the royalty type...[Just... glancing down to look pointedly at the whole tiddy out situation happening here. Not that he's complaining, mind you.]

[He startles and tugs his shirt down... then remembers what he was doing and pulls it BACK off so he can pull his new one on]

Ruin, please-!

[Huffhuff]

Though you are not wrong- I don't particularly feel... like the leadership type.

[Oh no the blush is adorable, help.]

Hey, I was just enjoying the show~

[A wink and a wicked grin but he takes pity on Lion and continues the actual conversation part of all this so he doesn't have to respond to the teasing.]

No offense but... I think you're a liiiiiittle too reactive to be in charge of an army.

[He nods sadly]

You are not wrong- perhaps things changed as I aged, but as I am and as I remember I was a skilled warrior but... that does not equal a proper soldier, let alone a leader.

Hey... if you are royalty that just means you get to make everyone else do things for you. It's fine.

[C'mon they were having fun a minute ago. Ruin's just gonna scoot around the circular table so he can nudge Lion's arm lightly. Not quite leaning into him but nearly.]

Besides, down here? You're just Lion.

Just Lion...

[That makes him smile softly]

I will accept that once you can do that same, you realize?

[Ruin sighs at that, shoving a hand into his hair.]

Ah not that again.

[But there's something guilty in the look he gives the blond.]

I dunno... how to just... stop? [Hating himself, berating himself, thinking he's worthless... how do you just turn that off?]

I am not asking you to- it is not my place to demand anything of you. But... I would very much like to be allowed to feel whatever I wish about you, regardless of your supposed sins. Is that fair?

[It's a little bit surreal, someone just saying something like that.

feel whatever I wish about you

Ruin actually blushes slightly which is absurd given his usual flirtatious humor. But actual genuine feelings are beyond him... Or at least beyond his familiarity. Especially now, when he's just moved so close to the other man. Part of him wants to run, put space between them again. Part of him wants to press closer.

In the end he just sort of hovers there in indecision.]

W-whatever you wish, huh?

[Lion notices the blush, but assumes it's due to their physical closeness, not his words. He's just being honest, after all.]

Whatever I wish. Good or ill- though even with our rocky start, I am learning more towards good.

[Is he teasing?]

[Well the more he talks like that the more Ruin leans into him, into his space. It's still bizarre and confusing, anyone thinking positively about him, but there's something so... Compelling about it when it's Lion. ]

You are...

[Not quite a question but still disbelieving. ]

I am.

[He reaches out-

-for his new sunglasses, putting them on and likely ruining (lol) the mood]

Though I am likely not the best judge of character, considering... myself.

[He's a murderous beast, after all]

[All this emotional tension and heartache... And Lion is the cheesiest human being alive or dead.

The tension breaks so suddenly that the emotional whiplash leaves him completely off kilter. Ruin turns to bury his face against Lion's shoulder, muffling startled laughter. But the weight of all his self loathing up against Lion's stubborn optimism, even for someone like him, twists that laugh into something like a sob.

There's a fragility to the masks he puts on and that sudden shift sends him reeling... Just enough that he's abruptly not laughing at all, one hand coming up to twist into the blond's new shirt, trembling ever so slightly as he fights not to just breakdown crying. ]

[He's surprised, and at first just has his hands up awkwardly- his first hysteric thought that his attempt at humor had just been that bad.

But... Lion is an old friend with self hate, and while his words had been said without much foresight maybe they had been too direct. Too honest. He too had broken down at the softness of others before.

So he just wraps his arms around Ruin's back and makes a low shushing sound, something he doesn't remember but is still familiar]

[Lion's arms around him is the final thing that pushes him over from fighting not to cry to outright sobbing against the other man. He's going to make a mess of his brand new shirt but once that wall breaks he can't stop himself from completely falling apart. Lion is too nice, too kind, which is maybe why the moments he breaks from that and turns to violence are all the more frightening. But either way it's a kindness he doesn't deserve. He may not remember much but that is something he knows with certainty, in the depths of his soul.

He does not deserve this comfort.

Which makes it even harder to control himself, to rein in all back in behind stupid smiles and flirtatious winks. Still he tries, almost as soon as he starts crying he's dragging in ragged breaths, holding them in so he can try to quiet the next sob. Shaking his head and mumbling little whimpered apologies.]

It is okay. I don't mind it.

[He looks around and finds his coat laid on the nearby seat. Craning over Ruin a bit he grabs it and... lays it over him. Both for warmth and to hide a bit from any passers-by]

[Ruin muffles a weak, self deprecating laugh and mutters a soft curse under his breath. Even so he reaches up to tug the edge of Lion's coat tighter around him, tears slowing a little. He leans into him a little more, wrapped up between the blond and his coat and just savoring the warmth and comfort offered.]

Dunno... fuck, dunno what's wrong with me. S-sorry. [He tries to laugh, tries to force some sort of humor into it. Lol silly Ruin all fucked in the head. Hilarious, right?]

There's no need to apologize- in the very least you are not, hm, expressing yourself the same way I do when overwhelmed.

[You know, violence]

Pretty sure this is not... y'know- normal.

[Another weak, strained laugh, pressing his face into Lion's shoulder again until he can get his breathing under control.]

Goddess, can you imagine? A couple of spoiled noble pricks boo-hooing over how terrible their lives are? 's ridiculous.

[Or maybe he just needs to point out how much he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Whether because he's a noble or just because... he's him.]

Ah, but you already said we're not nobles here.

[Checkmate]

[A huff, rolling his eyes a little. Amused at being called out even if his emotions are still all over the place.]

Fine.

[There, Lion, you win.]

We should retreat to Limbo- the spectres here are more advanced, but I still doubt they will know or care if I play truant.

There is... something we should talk about too.

I'm being a bad influence. [Though he jokes about it he still frowns, leans against him a little harder. Ruin is always greedy in regards to affection and he doesn't want to move away from the blond. Especially when he says something as ominous as that.]

That's...worrying. [But he will reluctantly pass Lion's coat back to him.]

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